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| To Find Your Peace, Let Peace Find You |
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by Matthew Goodemote MPT, Dip MDT - February 7, 2011
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We all have definitions of “peace” and what this word means to us. For those who grew up in the 60's, “peace” means something different than for those in my generation, who grew up in another decade and had another set of shared experiences. The word is the same, but the meaning behind the word is different. Recently, I have felt that those who heard me say this phrase might not have a true understanding of what I mean by the expression “find your peace.” So when I talk about “finding your peace,” I want to be sure that what I mean by this phrase matches the message that is received at the other end. This is a challenging concept to explain, and so I stopped talking about "finding your peace" for months because it became clear to me that “find your peace” does not always mean the same to others as it does to me.
For a long time, I have talked about "finding your peace" as a means to identify the calm presence that is part of our very nature. In my experience, this "peace" helps to clarify the situation so that the choices we make match what matters most in our life. When we find our peace, we respond to events with an appropriate level of decisiveness and openness instead of reacting to an event or situation with stress or negativity.
However, it seemed to me that people were placing their attention on the idea of what peace is so that they could try to create peace for themselves. I realized that if too much attention is placed on the "idea" of peace, then the peace that is found is a manufactured kind of peace. I intentionally stopped saying "find your peace" to my staff because I needed to stop the momentum of a "manufactured" kind of peace, one that is not authentic, but instead is the kind where we pretend that we aren't upset when in truth we are angry. (Often this mistaken suppression of emotion is justified as “keeping the peace.”) For months, I have observed my own habits and my temptation to reassure that peace is available because I needed to break the habit I had created...the habit of pretending peace. True peace is spontaneous and inherent in our nature. In truth, it is not something you "find." It is something that finds you.
The Wellness Center is a special place. I say that, of course, because it has been a big part of my life and I certainly appreciate all the amazing stories that I have personally experienced and also those that others have shared with me. So when I say that the Wellness Center is a special place, I say it with respect and not to toot my own horn, but rather to share with everyone what matters most. The Wellness Center has been a place where people "find their peace." Or perhaps the more appropriate way to say it is that "peace finds them."
Just yesterday, a woman told me how much the Wellness Center has meant to her in her recovery from hip and knee replacement. She also told me that there is more than just the physical therapy part of it. She said that the social atmosphere and friendly, happy and supportive people have also played a major role in her recovery. As she spoke with tears in her eyes, her gratitude and genuine appreciation for the staff at the Wellness Center shone through. This is the “peace” I mean when I say “find your peace.” This is that peace that is our very nature, that thing that everyone experiences in a moment when the stresses of life are set down and the true nature that we are comes through. This peace is palpable when you are open to it.
Just last week, a series of events reminded me of the value and importance of the spontaneous peace that arises when the individual is open to it. I remembered that the events of life are filled with peace because our very nature is peace and the events are experienced by us, so if we are there experiencing them and we are peace, then the events must contain peace.
Like everyone else, I have experienced the highs and lows of life. I have looked for the meaning of life and the importance of the situations we find ourselves in as we go through our lifetime, and I have interpreted the events of life in a way that helped me to understand my purpose...or at least what I wanted my purpose to be.
It is now clear to me that the willingness to be Well was/is at the root of my journey, and I believe it is at the root of everyone's journey. We are looking for balance in our life so that life is experienced to the fullest we are capable of. But somewhere in there, the intention can get confused. Just like the meaning of the word “peace” can take on a whole slew of possibilities depending on your experiences in life, so can peace be confused with a thing that needs to be found.
Our grateful patient at the Wellness Center clarified for me what peace really is, and it is not something she "found," but instead something that found her. Peace found her because it is in fact her very nature, and when the stories of the events in her life were put down for a minute, her expression of peace shone through in her eyes and her words. I do not remember what she said specifically, but I remember feeling peace in my heart.
Peace is the very nature of who we are and is in a constant search to find us. The events of our life are not conspiring against us and "preventing" our peace, the events of our life are the doors that continuously open to allow peace to find us. Recognizing that the events are secondary to our peace is a necessary step to embrace the peace that is always available to us.
So perhaps the time has come for me to stop calling for us to "find our peace" and to start embracing the peace that is always available that needs no finding. It is the "lack of peace" that clues us into the fact we are not open to the very thing we want. In that recognition is the very opening that will allow it in...nothing needs doing or finding. All that is needed is a welcoming as we open the door to peace.
 Matthew Goodemote is the founder and owner of Community Physical Therapy & Wellness in Gloversville, NY. He has degrees in Exercise Science, Health Science, Physical Therapy, and he is one of just over 250 in the world with a Diploma from the McKenzie International Spine Institute. Matthew is recognized as an expert in the fields of Physical Therapy, orthopedics, spinal disorders, sports medicine, and wellness. He is routinely called upon to offer tips and suggestions relating to health and wellness. His unique approach makes him a highly sought after expert at different ends of the media spectrum. He has received requests to participate in studies for scientific journals, and to write articles for trade magazines and popular press magazines such as Fitness to offer proven recommendations that stand the test of time. More of Matt’s blogs can be found at http://www.matthewgoodemote.com/blog/.
The viewpoint expressed in this article is the opinion of the author and is not necessarily the viewpoint of the owners or employees at Healthcare Staffing Innovations, LLC.
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