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| Share Strengths, Respect Differences for Wellness |
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by Matthew Goodemote MPT, Dip MDT - January 17, 2011
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Wellness is about finding balance. One aspect of balance is the acceptance of the self. Sometimes, people feel that they are never good enough. They focus on their shortcomings rather than appreciating what they can do well. Sometimes, people lose patience because the strengths of others lie in other areas. They focus on their strengths but do not respect the differences. If you look around you, you can see that every person has a different range of abilities and that each person’s strengths are unique in some way. I have my daughter to thank for bringing this to my attention.
On Monday, the first day after a long holiday, my daughter came home from school and said she was going to start saying, "this is easy for me" instead of just "this is easy." She came to this decision with the help of her teacher. He apparently suggested to his class that just because a particular thing was "easy for you" did not necessarily make it "easy...period." I thought this was a good suggestion and said so. Then, as most of you who read my column regularly will know, I started to think about how I handle strengths and differences in my own life. Sure enough, with a little introspection I realized that a lot of difficulties that I have had recently can be clarified with this statement.
I told a member of my staff today that my wife and I see the world very differently. My wife likes to look for discounts when purchasing a dishwasher, for example. She will look online and go to a few stores to ask questions to determine the "best buy." My wife wants to know what features the models have and understand exactly why each feature is helpful, not only for cleaning but also for the environment. She wants to know about how to care for the unit and how often it should be serviced, not to mention the warranty and the specifics of the warranty and if there is an additional supplement that can be bought to cover the warranty after the original expires. Then she wants to compare the unit to a model that has fewer bells and whistles and also to one that has more. Next, she wants to compare it to different brands. Finally, she has to compare the prices to the different stores that sell it for the very best price.
Me, I want to know how to turn it on and off and if it will clean my dishes. The amazing thing is that I literally don't even think of more questions to ask. It is like I don't even know what to ask and don't try to figure it out. Why would I? My wife is better at it than I am,
On the other hand, my wife is a physical therapist and with a diploma from the McKenzie Institute. So in our house there are two of the just over 250 people in the world with extensive training in the spine. But my wife has not practiced for 10 years, so her way of doing things is a bit different from mine. When it comes to discussing back pain, she asks questions that I am baffled by. I can't figure out why she asks the questions and often want to step in to ask questions myself. Actually, I usually do step in. My wife knows that I am not putting her down in any way because she knows that asking these types of question is my strength- and she respects that. Anyway, for me the questions about back pain simply flow off my tongue. I don't know why I ask what I do and I have no pre-planned questions, but I seem to find a way to dig in to uncover what I need to know to make the right decision with my patients.
So for me, it is "easy" to make decisions about treating people with back pain and I am comfortable seeing any patient no matter how badly off they appear to be. Similarly, it is easy for my wife to find out about the best deal when buying a dishwasher. She needs to know certain things and knows how to ask the right questions to get enough information to make a good decision.
Last example. A few years ago we both bought new vehicles. My wife test drove different cars. She asked a lot of questions shopped around for weeks to find what she wanted. I wanted a black 4X4 pick-up truck. I made a call and said I wanted a black 4X4 pick up and today I drive that very truck!
So how is this all connected to Wellness?
Everyone knows that there are some areas in our lives that we excel at and others where we struggle. I see the big picture much more easily than I can focus on details. When I get stuck doing details, my whole body shudders and shakes. I get grumpy and I have a hard time finding my peace. Details may be easy…but they are not easy for me. I know this about myself and accept it. So rather than struggling with figuring out details by myself, I have surrounded myself with detail-oriented people, people who can say “this is easy for me” when it comes to all those little things that have to happen so a great idea or concept can come to life. Otherwise, when I get caught in the details, I start missing the big picture, too.
I am not suggesting you use what I am writing as an excuse or justification to stop trying, I am saying surround yourself with people who can help and rather that get annoyed with their abilities, appreciate them. Embrace them and support them in doing what they do well! To take an example from nature, caterpillars and butterflies are different in that one is on the ground and is a great eater, while the other is in the air and is a great flyer. Yet neither one is better than the other and one is not possible without the other. The butterfly is from the caterpillar is from the butterfly.
If you have had similar experiences, perhaps its time to be honest with yourself and acknowledge that what is "easy" for you is does not make it "easy...period." Be patient with people who cannot do what you do well as well as you can do it. Consider the other side of the coin as well, Just because something is "easy" for someone else does not mean it is easy for you, nor is it supposed to be. The recognition that what may be easy for you is not easy for others and vice versa opens the possibility of working together to create balance in your life and in the lives of others. It is the very nature of our being to be blessed with abilities that are unique to ourselves. Now more than ever, we need to embrace these abilities and share them with one another...for the well-being of ALL.
 Matthew Goodemote is the founder and owner of Community Physical Therapy & Wellness in Gloversville, NY. He has degrees in Exercise Science, Health Science, Physical Therapy, and he is one of just over 250 in the world with a Diploma from the McKenzie International Spine Institute. Matthew is recognized as an expert in the fields of Physical Therapy, orthopedics, spinal disorders, sports medicine, and wellness. He is routinely called upon to offer tips and suggestions relating to health and wellness. His unique approach makes him a highly sought after expert at different ends of the media spectrum. He has received requests to participate in studies for scientific journals, and to write articles for trade magazines and popular press magazines such as Fitness to offer proven recommendations that stand the test of time. More of Matt’s blogs can be found at http://www.matthewgoodemote.com/blog/.
The viewpoint expressed in this article is the opinion of the author and is not necessarily the viewpoint of the owners or employees at Healthcare Staffing Innovations, LLC.
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